An Avenue of Cherry Blossoms

I wrote this a few months ago and never got around to publishing it. I meant every word. As I look upon how life has changed, I realize that things happened just the way I thought they would which is both sad and happy.  I say things when I mean them and others say them despite their true feelings. In the end we are all victims and heroes.

I haven't had such a wonderful day in such a long time.  This morning (very grumpily and hesitantly), my best friends and I woke up to participate in the Color Run. It was an amazing experience! I myself am not a runner. In fact, I probably ran 50% of this 5k. But I'm not embarrassed and I'll tell you why. In the beginning of the semester, I had such lofty ideals and hopes.  I expected all As, to find a full time job, and to finish one thing off my 5 year bucket list.  I thought my life would be a lot more different than it is and it breaks my heart.

I'm still working on the grades.  I really am. Sometimes when you're so close to the end, you feel like you should just let it go, accept a mediocre result, and move on.  I want to finish strong, however I feel the exhaustion setting in.  It was nice for me to finish my 5k because it showed me that even though I am at the end of my college journey, I do not have to give in to exhaustion.  It felt good to see the start and the finish of a goal I've been working towards for quite some time.  I am not a runner, but the Color Run inspired me to stay motivated in my endeavors and for that I am grateful.

I am really slow (let's be honest, I pretty much prefer to walk really quickly rather than jog).  I felt bad that I would make my team members wait on me. However, my best friend ran side by side with me this morning, even though he could've gone ahead.  It meant a lot to me that we started and finished together, because I think its important to know you have someone at your side. I know once college ends, he may disappear from my life. Today however, he and I were together and we are happy. I also felt really proud of my team members. Each one of us made it out today despite the long commute, the traffic, and the early hours. My other friends did really well with their own personal goals.

Afterwards, we all got washed up and had a picnic! We menu planned, got to the park, dog-watched, and ate a lot.  It was a very fun time.  We climbed trees (and had trouble getting down again) and were kids on a playground again. I have had a very fulfilling day. The reason why I called this post "An Avenue of Cherry Blossoms" is because I live in a city one would typically not imagine so many cherry blossom trees.  When I think of cherry blossoms, I think of the Nation's Capitol.  I think its a metaphor in my mind. I have spent so much time believing that the world is one way.  I wished to think I was clever enough to recognize how dynamic our world is. But even I was caught surprised when the landscape suddenly changed.  I've changed and I will probably forget that I have changed. In a few years time, I will be back here saying how shocked I am by how quickly life morphed from one trajectory to a totally new one.  I think its OK.  Maybe you're supposed to forget because you need to recognize that change is something we need to accept as here to stay.